ARE YOU LIVING YOUR VALUES?

We all have values. But too often we are content to merely recite them, bear them as a mark of our goodness, or judge others by whether or not they live up to them, and less ready to understand what drives them and how we apply them in life. Sometimes the values we actually have and live by look very different from the ones that we claim to have or would like to have and live by. If you really want to know what your values are, and whether or not you are living them as you'd like to be, ask yourself these questions. The answers may surprise you!

Consider:

• Who or what who do I give priority to in my life? What takes precedence above other things
• What will I always work for, find time to do, and invest in? What will I easily let go of or walk away from?
• What are the people, communities, interests, and situations that I actually pursue or feel attracted to?
• What do I stand up for? What do I stand against?
• What are my prized possessions? What would I never sell or give away? What am I unwilling to live without?
• Who or what most brings out my empathy? What am I outraged by? What world issues cause me pain? What do I do about it?
• Who do I look up to? What about their character and values inspire me?

Finish the following phrases:

• I will never . . .
• I dream about . . .
• I'd hate myself if I . . .
• I enjoy being around people who or situations that . . .
• If there is one thing in the world that I could change, it would be . . .

Make a list of declarative statements that describes your values; don't merely list what they are. For example: "When the crowd goes in one direction, I often go in the other." Or "I abhor any type of cruelty," Or "I'd like to be remembered as a person of conviction and compassion." Then ask yourself what does this say about your values?

Get others' input: Ask someone else, "If I told you the following things about myself, what might you con­clude I value?"

Only when we look at what we say and what we do can we start to understand how Value influences our lives. Moreover, only when we align what we feel, think, say, and do are we actually living our values.

Happiness: The Long Lost Fountain of Youth and the Elixir of Life

Whether literally or metaphorically, in legendary tales or even through the modern advances of science and technology, people time immemorial have been in search of the Fountain of Youth and the Elixir of Life, some extraordinary substance to sip or swallow that will sustain absolutely our energy, vitality, and life.

But while we know that “taking the waters” indeed flushes our system, regulates our body temperature, protects our organs and arteries, and helps with our metabolism, to date, no spring has sprung that ultimately prevents the body, and even the mind, from eventually withering, and in the end from ceasing to function as is it had.

Perhaps the long lost Fountain of Youth and the Elixir of Life lies not in some alchemical substance for the body, but rather in an essential substance for the spirit: happiness.

Like eternal youth and eternal life, we all long for eternal happiness. But too often we assume that the way to be happy is to merely “think” it into being (“If I think happy thoughts and don’t think unhappy thoughts, then I’ll be happy”; it’s as easy as that, right?) or command it to manifest in our life (“I will be happy if it kills me!”). Sure, optimism and determination are better than the alternatives: pessimism and apathy. But as I said in my book Stirred Not Shaken, happiness is discovered, not demanded; moreover it results when our attitude, aptitudes, and actions are in line with our choices, creations, and contributions.

• Happy are those who are honest, for they live with intention.
• Happy are those who stay focused on what is right and real, for they have discernment.
• Happy are those who take responsibility for their attitude and actions, and follow their own moral compass, for they live with dignity.
• Happy are those who persevere, for they will always sustain and flourish.
• Happy are those who confront uncertain situations with confidence and poise, for they have courage.
• Happy are those who keep their hearts open and their egos in check, for they have humility.
• Happy are those who endure through moderation and perspective, for they have patience.
• Happy are those who are empathetic—who remain connected to others and the world around them, for they will always retain their humanity.
• Happy are those who see that “right,” not revenge, is done, for they are just.
• Happy are those who reach out and let others in, for they know love.
• Happy are those who are in command of themselves: body, mind, and spirit, for they live with integrity.
• Happy are those who are interested and invest in creating and contributing, for they are stewards of the world.
• Happy are those who relinquish the need for control and embrace the unknown, for they are free.
• Happy are those who will the good, for they touch the sublime and experience eternity.

We may not have a panacea for disease and degeneration, but we do have a cure-all for dispiritedness and despair: happiness. And while we may not be able to live forever as we are now, we can live as happily and as completely as we can, full of life and rich in spirit. For more information on what it takes to be happy, healthy, and whole, click here and get Stirred.